| FTBL Best Auburn Hate Week Jokes!!

bamaledge

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An Alabama grad and a barn grad are in a bar. They both go to pee an the Bama grad finishes first and walks out of the bathroom. The barn grad washes his hands and then catches up to the Bama grad and say's"at auburn they teach us to wash our hands after peeing." The Bama grad say's at Alabama the teach us not to pee on our hands."
 

SnakeFan

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An Alabama grad and a barn grad are in a bar. They both go to pee an the Bama grad finishes first and walks out of the bathroom. The barn grad washes his hands and then catches up to the Bama grad and say's"at auburn they teach us to wash our hands after peeing." The Bama grad say's at Alabama the teach us not to pee on our hands."
I first heard this in the 70's at E.R. Dickson Elementry School and you know what? It never gets old unlike me
 

rocknthefreeworld

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So, it is the Iron Bowl. Fourth Quarter. Auburn just scored a TD as time expired and trails by 1. Gus falls to one knee and prays to God above.

"God, I know I should kick and go for overtime but we can win it here. What should I do?"

God answers without hesitation "Straight QB run to the left side. Don't go for the tie."

So Gus, trusting God above everything else, calls the play.

Johnson takes the snap, runs left, and is mauled by three Bama defenders. Bama wins the game.

Gus falls to his knees again and shouts "GOD! WHY DID YOU TELL ME TO DO THAT?"

And again, God answers "I don't know. Bear, why did we tell him to do that?"
 

rick4bama

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rick4bama

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i, too, had to laugh at this one.

the fans wanted more seats, which seems like a sensible idea. but no, the ad wanted a big-ass tv instead.

compensation, much?
When was the last time that place put in more seats? Old Pat was still the Head coach right?:bolt:
 

rueben

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No Joke: Earlier last week, the conversation on the local sports talk radio was Alabama playing C.S., Auburn playing Alabama A&M, and Troy cracking the top 25. This of course spun into a "Bama and Auburn should be paying / playing in state schools during the cupcake weeks..." I tried to call in but I could not get through. I was going to tell them, " we do play smaller in-state schools. Auburn plays Alabama A&M, and Bama plays Auburn." Would have really gotten the locals fired up.
 

sk33tr

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No Joke: Earlier last week, the conversation on the local sports talk radio was Alabama playing C.S., Auburn playing Alabama A&M, and Troy cracking the top 25. This of course spun into a "Bama and Auburn should be paying / playing in state schools during the cupcake weeks..." I tried to call in but I could not get through. I was going to tell them, " we do play smaller in-state schools. Auburn plays Alabama A&M, and Bama plays Auburn." Would have really gotten the locals fired up.
oh shit!

i would've LOVED to hear that!

probably would have run off the road if i was in my truck.
 

rick4bama

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It look like that boy is covering up his jewels! Is that one of those trigger?:shock: He not looking at the lady to the left of him?:eek:
 

Bamabww

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This guy walks into Toomers Drug in Auburn, sits down at the Soda Fountain and orders a Grilled Veggie Hoagie. The Waiter looks at the man and says "You're not from round here are ya?" "No" replied the man, "I'm from Pensylvania." The Waiter looks at him and says "Well what do you do in Pensylvania?" "I'm a taxidermist." said the man. The waiter, looking very bewildered, now asked "What in the world is a tax-e-derm-ist?" The man looked at the bar tender and said "Well, I mount dead animals." The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole store which is staring at him "It's okay, boys! He's one of us!"
 

Bamabww

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Excuses awbarn will use this week:

We are a young team

Red Elephant Club paid our players

Refs show Bama bias

The SEC office is on the REC's payroll.

To many injuries

Our new trees were burned

Gus doesn't trust "Pope" Freeze enough to bounce high school ideas off of to see if they may work in Division 1

I think Saban was using those ex NFL scout-team players in the game. That was either Julio Jones or Amari Cooper that torched us for 400 + receiving yards!

Deer antler spray is definitely working

Petrino stole the playbook

The Governor raided Victoryland
 

Bamabww

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Coach Malzahn decided the tigers weren’t tough enough to beat Alabama. He told his coaches he had a plan to make the players tougher. He borrowed a three foot long alligator from the awbarn zoo, put him in a box, shut the lid and carried him to the field house.

The next day when the team met, he told them that they needed to be tougher or they’d never beat Alabama. He said “as head coach, I’m gonna set the example and then expect each coach and player to follow my example. I’m gonna show all of you how to be a tougher man.” He walked to the table where he had set the box, let his pants fall to the floor, dropped his boxers, opened the box, pulled the gator out and held the gator right in front of his manhood.

The gator immediately clamped his jaws shut on the small appendage and Malzahn groaned in pain. He said through clenched teeth, “guys, this is very painful but it’ll make all of us tougher men.”

After a couple of minutes, he had stood as much as he could. Using his finger, he jabbed the gator in the eye, which caused the gator to open his mouth. Malzahn quickly put the gator back in the box and shut the lid. Leaning on the table with his manhood still hanging, he said,” guys that was rough, one of the most painful things I’ve ever done but it’ll help me be a tougher man. Now who’s next?”

No one moved. He said, “c’mon guys, all of you need to do this, who’s gonna be first?” No one responded. He looked around the room and said, “Sean, you’re the closes thing we’ve got to a man on this team, be a leader and be first.”

Sean White slowly got out of his seat, walked to where Coach Malzahn was standing, dropped down in front of him, looked up at his coach and said,” ok coach, but please just tell me when to open my mouth back up. Don’t jab me in the eye. Please.”
 

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